Dear Madam President,

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

You’ve made a great president,

I will miss you. 

❤ SS

p.s. In all seriousness, thank you for making meetings fun and short and always leading difficult discussions with aplomb.  I can’t imagine anyone doing a better job! 


Damn it, Janet

You are overwhelmingly beautiful. I saw you perform in Rocky Horror on Halloween and haven’t been able to get you out of my head, especially since I see you with your friends everyday in Tower. I hear that you’re single, and if you’d like, you’re welcome to touch-a-touch-a touch me any time. Come to the pub this week? 


Mod note: I apologize for the delay in this post! It was submitted a week ago, for Janet’s reference. 


You make my heart pound into my ears

I’d like to conquer over my fears

And give you a gift that makes you blush

Because birthday girl you’re my big crush


(note from your friendly moderator: this email was sent on October 6th!)

Elephant Tattoo Girl

I don’t see you around that often but I definitely pay attention every time I do. You have a bright orange backpack and serious swagger. I’m totally crushing on your new haircut. Also i saw your tats earlier this year though  now that it’s colder I don’t see them as often…maybe there’s some way for you to show them to me in private 😉  

Love, Crushing From Afar

Red Hair Don’t Care

I see you every single day. You walk around campus with a red topknot and a green backpack. I always want to say hi to you but I’m not sure if you swing my way. People I ask say no. I hear you row crew, I hope that’s a good sign for me.

Let me know,
An admirer

Long List of Confessions

I’ve amassed a large number of crushes of people that are on the Ultimate team. They are not listed in any particular order. 
1. Your name rhymes with face. I like yours….
2. When you look at me, I feel like I’ve been hit by a dart, which also happens to rhyme with your name.
3. You’re good at math. If you were cosine^2, I’d be sine^2 ’cause together, we make 1.
4. You’re a pretty flamingo. 
5. I want some of your sparkles. 
6. You rock my sock, which rhymes with your name.
7. If I were a fly, you’d be poo, which happens to rhyme with your name.
8. We R who we R. I like dat.
9. Let’s have a fling, which rhymes with your name.
10. I’m HUNGARY for you. 
11. I’ve been having dreams about you, girl. 
12. I can help you hold your bucket.
13. Leggo my eggy.
14. Let’s have funzie.
15. You puzzle me.
16. You’re more than okay, which rhymes with your name.
17. Why are you in London?
18. Why are you also in London?
19. Gy Gy, you fly.
20. I can’t keep up with you.
21. You stole Christmas, but you also stole my heart.
22. Swag swag on you.
23. You my Queen-o.
24. If you were Ned Stark, I’d be Catelyn… before their struggs.
25. Math and physics aren’t boring ’cause of you.
26. You’re tall. I like that.
27. You bruise my heart. Through this unrequited love.
28. You fly, son, which rhymes with your name.

Thirsty for a Cup of Jo!

You turn the tips of my ears pink, and with all the frost that bites at my nose and cheeks as I walk to our meetings, I can’t help but shiver when I see you, curl my hands and will them to stop shaking, and wish for my fingers to be as hot as my face feels. I catch myself in the mirror, smiling at nothing and everything and trying to will the edges of my lips to sit still, to stop blabbing at how you maybe smiled at me (or at least, at someone in my direction) in passing. 

Or how I saw you on my way out of Chemistry on the third floor, on my way to the second for Calculus (and tried not to mention how your daily quotes on your blog tear me to pieces with laughter, and are probably the reason I don’t understand electron configuration or limits—and maybe that’s a good thing, because if I had any sense of limits, perhaps I wouldn’t be writing this)! Your soft eyes and softer hair (cut so short, and I am the opposite of complaining) make my own eyes crinkle at the corners like origami, and I think the fold of your lips frames your smile in an unfairly perfect way.

We don’t know each other that well, not really, but that’s okay, because you’re the rare sort with just enough charisma and just enough personality that being in your presence is enough for anyone to crush on you more than just a little bit. Just seeing you in action makes me giddy! I love to hear all your stories and see your many talents during org meetings, and I can’t wait to hear more! (Your opera singing is probably my favorite, but your personal anecdotes are a very, very close second). 

You just deserve so much light and love in your life because, wow, with your million-watt smile, it’s hard not to smile back! I really, really hope you find someone who makes you happy because I’d genuinely love nothing more than to see you with the sort of love you deserve!

P.S. I hope the girl you were interested in for a few weeks eventually turns around to see what she is missing, or at the very least, that you find someone who laughs at all your jokes and cherishes you right from the get go! 

(And I also hope that you got a laugh from the title and that you have a great day!).


A first-year who just wishes you would smile back!

My First Girl Crush

Well, on Saturday you sat down next to me in a certain dining room and introduced yourself. It might seem like I was totally awkward/uncomfortable/antisocial but really I was so choked up by how pretty you are and was too shy to talk to you.

-the most non-gay Asian senior you’ll find on this campus

(not even sure this blog is still alive but…worth a try, right?)

Everyone’s Crazy for K

Super hot hair cut, amazing smile, sexy bod, gorgeous face and with enough charm to win over the most terrified homophobe..hell girl, you’re magnet. Orientation, schmorientation, you could get them all. This one for sure. 

– just saying what everyone is thinking.